I made a reel recently where I handled one of my haters. In that video, I shared how I had to slay my own demons of self-doubt and negative self-talk before I could even dream of being the healed version of me, sitting here today making content on the Internet.

And some of you asked me — how did you do that?

The truth is: it’s not easy, but it is simple. What I’m about to share with you is the exact process I went through. It’s messy, human, and sometimes it feels like you’re battling yourself in the mirror. But if you stick with it, you can rewire your brain to support you instead of sabotage you.

1. Become Aware of Your Self-Talk

This is the hardest and most important step. You cannot change what you’re not aware of.

For me, it took weeks — literally weeks of sitting with myself, journaling, meditating, and asking: who do I want to become, and what thoughts do I need to let go of to get there? before I even became aware that I was thinking negative thoughts. 

Most of us don’t even realize we’re running a program in our heads. Whether it's what we were told when we were little or what we chose to believe from past experiences in our lives, our 'default mode network’ - the critical voice in our head - is always on autopilot:

“Who are you kidding? You can’t do that, you're not her."
"Oh, she can pull that off, because look at her. But you? No way. You’re not good enough."
"Ha! Good luck with that effort."
"Trying again? Haven't we seen this story already? You're going to give up, just like before."

As Dr. Joe Dispenza says:

“95% of who we are by the time we’re 35 is a set of memorized behaviors, emotional reactions, beliefs, and perceptions — a subconscious program.”

To break the program of negative self talk and self doubt, you first need to become conscious of it. Journaling helps. Meditation helps. Therapy helps. However you do it, your goal is to become meta-cognitive and catch your thoughts from infiltrating and corrupting your mind.

It's the painstaking effort of becoming aware of your own thoughts in the moment and admitting: What have I been telling myself, all these years? What negative thoughts and self-sabotage have I been allowing to live rent-free in my own mind?

2. Catch and Reject

Once you catch the thought, you have a choice: Keep or Reject? And here’s where I got fierce. If it's not a thought I want to think, then it's not allowed into my mind or body. 

I remember pitching a client once for a big project. The call was going so well. And then out of nowhere, my brain threw this grenade at me:

“Sure, you’re great at landing the deal… but wait until you have to deliver. You’ll mess it up.”

And I was sitting there on Zoom, smiling on the outside, horrified on the inside. I don’t have a poker face, so I’m sure my eyebrows gave me away.

But I’ll never forget what I did: I mentally slammed the door on that thought. Oh hell no. Not today. Not anymore.

Dr. Joe puts it beautifully:

“You have to become so conscious of your unconscious thoughts that you would never let one slip by your awareness unchecked.”

And that's exactly what I did. I decided I was never going to question my ability to deliver great work because my track record for delivering great work was 100% and I had ridiculously happy clients. It wasn't even true. It was simply the program, keeping me in self doubt and negative self talk. 

3. Replace It With a Thought You DO Want to Think

Once you reject that thought,  replace it with something new and powerful. What do you want to believe and think about yourself? Are you smart? Are you determined? Are you successful? Are you abundant, are you a creative genius? 

Determine what it is that you want to believe and then begin programming your mind. The repetitive nature of this step is especially important! You need to say these thoughts in your mind first thing when you wake up. You need to write them in your journal, and repeat them verbally, read them and write them daily. You need to make them into a song and sing it to yourself on walks, in the shower, or while cooking. Repeat these over and over again, because what you think, you slowly believe and then become. Some of my favorites:

• I am a creative genius.

• I make content for women to thrive, and they love and appreciate my content.

• I thrive in new situations.

• I am successful and I'm making a positive impact in the world.

The science behind this is clear: every time you repeat a positive thought, you’re carving a new neural pathway, and you're breaking the connection with that old neural pathway that led to toxic thoughts and self doubt. You’re training your brain to choose a different way of thinking and seeing yourself, and that's what starts to change how you think and feel about yourself.

4. Find Evidence Your New Belief is True

The fastest way to kill a negative belief? Prove it wrong.

If my old thought was “You’re not creative,” then I replaced that thought with "I am a creative genius" and started looking for proof that I was, in fact, that: the blog blog I wrote that was meaningful to someone, the strategic idea I had that helped a company pivot out of a downturn and start generating significant sales, the content I created that resonated and went viral.

If my old thought was “You’ll never stick with things,” then I changed my thought to be "I always follow through on my promises to myself" and began seeing evidence of my actions at work: my dogged consistency in the gym, my relentless commitment to my business, always being there for the moments that matter in my relationships.

This is where the science and the spirit meet. Dr. Joe says:

“When you believe in your future more than your past, your brain begins to change.”

And finding evidence is what tips the scales. It gives your brain no choice but to say: Okay, this is irrefutable proof that this new thought is actually true. And that that old one needs to disappear for good.

A strange thing happens when you start doing this: you become more incentivized to prove yourself right. You find yourself saying to yourself, "I don't want to go to the gym today, I'm so tired. But I made a promise to myself and I always stay true to the promises I make to myself, so today I'm going to the gym in spite of the fact that I don't want to go." 

Because here's the deal: when you become intent on changing old patterns and destroying self doubt and negative self talk, and you're fill your head daily with positive statements about who The New You is and how she moves through the world, and you have irrefutable proof that you've done it before, it becomes hard to let your new self down. 

5. Embody the New You

The final piece is becoming so consistent with your new thoughts that they become you and you become them. Once you’ve rejected negative thinking and replaced it with new thoughts and found evidence to support this new version of you, you need to become the person who lives that way.

So, ask yourself: How would a 7-figure entrepreneur act? How would a deeply confident woman talk to herself on a bad day? How would a resilient person set boundaries, walk into a room, handle rejection?

And then… start doing it. Even if it feels clumsy at first. Because when your actions match your beliefs, you’re no longer playing tug-of-war with yourself. You’re in alignment.

Journaling can help bring this vision to life. As an example, I have a vision of my future self - she's a total baddie. She is doing all kinds of amazing things the version of me today wants to do and hasn't yet done. I joke with my friends: I date her, regularly. I think about her, and I imagine how she handles situations and talks to people and sets boundaries and looks after her health and it inspires me to stay the course. In my journal, I write down who she is, how she handles things and then I reflect on the gap between me and her.

I visit her most often in meditation, though. Every morning, I set the energy for the day by tuning into how grateful I am for all amazing things and blessings in my life, and how excited and delighted I am for the possibilities coming my way. I see my future self: who she is and how she moves through the world, and it awakens in me the desire to become the best version of me. 

The Constant Cycle

This isn’t a one-and-done. It’s a daily cycle and you have to fight decades and decades of negative programming. Every day, your brain will serve you up nonsense. And every day, you have to be on guard to reject it and choose differently.

As Dr. Joe says:

“You can’t create a new future while holding on to the emotions of your past. You have to decide — am I defined by a vision of the future or by memories of the past?”

I chose the vision. And I still choose it everyday. Are there still negative thoughts and self doubt? Yes, there are. But every day that passes, those thoughts are less blaring and less frequent. And the new version of me continues to amplify in surround sound.

Final Thoughts

If I hadn’t done this work, I wouldn’t be here creating content, building community, or living a life that feels aligned with who I am becoming. I owe so much of my journey to Dr Joe Dispenza, a best-selling author, researcher and lecturer who teaches on the subject of self-transformation. I invite you to check out his book, You Are The Placebo and to visit his website here.

So if you’re in that battle with your own thoughts — keep going. It’s not easy, but it is simple. And the healed version of you is waiting on the other side.

x
Juliana

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